Names changed for privacy.

Story shared at this link. Please share your story here as well: https://forms.gle/D9d2gF5R3PZs9fRk6

The Abuse

My abuser was my father, who was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The first instance of abuse was sleeping in his bed as a little girl. I don’t remember the first time this happened but it had to be about 5 years old and plenty of times before.

Often times my mom would sleep in our bedroom on the floor and my dad would sleep in his room alone. My dad would always wake me up late at night and tell me he was lonely.

I hated waking up to go sleep with him but I felt so bad that he was so sad and alone. He always told me I was his favorite and I felt like it was my duty to be loyal and always do what he wanted so I could always be the favorite.

He never slept with any clothes or underwear on and wrapped his legs around me with his penis pressed right up against my underwear. I felt hot and the weight of him was heavy. I was uncomfortable but pretended to sleep because I was nervous about disappointing him.

The worst instance of abuse that I remember was being forced to take a shower with him and him washing my vagina aggressively with a bar of soap. I was 7 years old. I cried in the beginning and told him it hurt. His feelings seemed hurt when I did that and he was sad. I didn’t want to make him sad anymore so I tried my best to be quiet until it was over.

The last time I was abused by my father was 7 years ago. I moved out on my own at the age of 18.

My dad frequently made comments about my cleavage being too much or too revealing in the clothes that I picked or that my track shorts were too short but only if I wore them in public. At home if I wore those things he would just watch me.

There was a picture that was posted on Facebook of me on Splash Mountain at Disneyland and my cleavage was “too revealing” and he had me take it down. But he saved it on his phone and would zoom in to look at it over and over.

Telling Church Leadership

My dad was and still is in good standing with the church and was very good friends with our bishop at the time.

I did go to that bishop for help several times and he told me that he KNEW I was doing things I shouldn’t be and that I needed to repent of those things first to be happy. And that I needed to challenge myself to dress more modestly to prevent things from happening.

The morning I moved out, my bishop and him were waiting for me in the driveway after they both had several interventions with me about the way I dressed and acted to “provoke boys.”

I remember feeling so defeated that my bishop had such a bias to my dad because I spent years trying to ask him for help to escape my abuse only to learn that all of it must’ve been my fault because I have a body with boobs and didn’t protect the “boy brain” of my father.

I’m not sure if my father was ever informed of my accusations. No Church disciplinary action was taken against my father.

I do not feel like the Church took my story seriously or sought justice for me.

The Damage

The abuse has cost me years of religious trauma, nightmares, flashbacks, the inability to focus and sometimes enjoy a sex life with my husband, hyper activity in public around other men, anxiety over the safety of my children.

I have been going to therapy for years and have spent thousands of dollars over the years.

I was offered therapy through LDS Family Services, but I was counseled to pray more, follow the commandments better, to read my scriptures, and have more faith that it happened for a reason. I do not see a therapist through LDS services anymore because I felt that was putting the responsibility of the abuse on me and I refused to believe that anymore than I already had.

I feel safe physically, most of the time. However, I am triggered by some simple things like being approached from behind, being followed too closely, men speaking over me, church buildings, priesthood holders making decisions about my family without my consent, etc.

I believe the healing will never end and it will be a process I unfold over and over, forever.

What We Can Do

This kind of thing MUST STOP.

Abuse survivors need to be supported PROFESSIONALLY through this terrible process.

Members of the Church often go first to their Church leaders when in trouble. As good as many of these men are, they often do not know what to do in situations like this.

Abused members need a safe number to call to get legal and therapeutic resources. And they need a way to be offered the chance to bring their abusers to legal and Church justice.

Abuse survivors need help, support and an opportunity for justice.

Abusers need to be identified and appropriately disciplined.

To help create this system, please sign this petition: https://www.change.org/stopldsabuse

Please Share Your Story

If you have a story where you were abused, reported it to Church leaders, and did not receive appropriate support or justice…

PLEASE CLICK HERE to share your story.

I know it’s scary to share it.

Every person who has shared so far has been scared to share. But they did it anyway.

And they did it as ANONYMOUSLY as they wanted.

People will doubt it.

People will question your actions.

Some people will make you feel like the “bad guy.”

BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS PROBLEM KNOWN.

If it keeps getting pushed under the rug, change will not happen. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or anywhere else.

They might ignore your story. But they can’t ignore hundreds or thousands of stories.

For every one person who shares their story, there are MANY more who are silently saying “me too.”

When you share yours, you empower someone else to share theirs and move towards healing.

The more voices that stand up and share their story, the bigger difference we can make.

CLICK HERE to share your story.

And let’s make The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the safest place on earth for survivors of abuse.

The Abuse

ABC News Story, Including Video

Case Summary From WHSV News

In 2004, Chistopher Michael Jensen was arrested at age 13 at his middle school and charged with two felony counts of sexual abuse against two girls.

Despite this fact, he was recommended as a babysitter to multiple members of the ward, where he sexually abused multiple children.

He was SERVING A MISSION for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when he was brought in for questioning, and was eventually sentenced in 2013 to 35 to 75 years in prison for sexually abusing two children, ages 3 and 4.

AFTER his sentencing, he was excommunicated from the Church.

Telling Church Leadership

Several LDS mothers of children abused by Christopher Michael Jensen claim that they told a bishop and other Church leaders about the abuse, but Church leaders did not report the abuse and “did nothing to warn and protect” their children.

This eventually went to a civil suit, which the Church settled for an undisclosed amount.

HOWEVER, the Church did NOT claim any kind of fault or responsibility.

They also refused any interviews with ABC, and instead sent a statement that said “These allegations are false, offensive, and unsubstantiated. As soon as Church leaders learned of abuse by this individual, they encouraged the parents of the abused children to report to West Virginia police and confirmed the report.”

In other words, the women who made these reports are lying and the Church leaders did nothing wrong.

The Church claims it did everything it possibly could have done to protect these children from a sexual predator.

The Damage

These children have to deal with the mental, emotional and sexual trauma caused by a predator.

The Problem And What Could Have Been Done Differently

Reactionary (Slow) Church Discipline

For one, the Church was very reactionary in its discipline of a known sexual predator.

He was on a mission for the Church when he was brought in for trial for sexually abusing children.

That means that a sexual predator attended the temple and was out as an official representative of the Church.

It was only after SENTENCING that he was excommunicated.

Non-Involvement Of Survivors In Church Hearing

In the Church’s excommunication hearing, at least one of the mothers whose children were abused by Christopher Michael Jensen was DENIED the opportunity to attend the hearing.

No Ownership Of Blame Or Attempt To Improve Church Policy And Procedure

The Church says they did nothing wrong, though they did reach a settlement to pay for damages done to these children and their families.

Instead of using this as an opportunity to see what went wrong and implement policy and procedure changes to keep it from happening again, the Church:

1. Blamed Christopher Michael Jensen for lying to Church authorities (which is how he could have gone on a mission, by lying through interview questions)
2. Accused the families of the survivors of lying

Again, look at the Church’s statement: “There have been allegations that the Church knew that Jensen was a danger and did nothing to stop him. These allegations are false, offensive, and unsubstantiated. As soon as Church leaders learned of abuse by this individual, they encouraged the parents of the abused children to report to West Virginia police and confirmed the report.”

The civil case claimants said the opposite. That the Church DID know that Jensen was a danger.

So, in the Church’s official statement, they call the mothers of the victims of a predator… liars.

What We Can Do

In my opinion, MUCH of this tragedy could have been prevented by the system outlined in the petition.

When these mothers learned of the abuse and asked their leader, they could have been directed to a hotline of PROFESSIONALS, who would have clearly explained the legal and therapy resources available.

If the mothers were not satisfied with how their leaders handled the case, they could have called this hotline DIRECTLY.

The Church often points to its policies and procedures, and many of them are very good.

BUT, what happens when a leader does not FOLLOW these?

What happens when someone feels their claims of abuse are not being taken as seriously as they should?

Right now, there’s no clear place for these people to turn within the Church.

What we are fighting for is the CREATION of a clear place to turn.

To be walked through a CLEAR, TRANSPARENT and SURVIVOR-FOCUSED system…

That helps the survivors heal AND delivers appropriate discipline to the abusers.

And, one that helps PREVENT abuse by making criminal records easily available to members, so that they could make informed decisions about important things like who is teaching or babysitting their children.

To help create this system, please sign this petition: https://www.change.org/stopldsabuse

Please Share Your Story

If you have a story where you were abused, reported it to Church leaders, and did not receive appropriate support or justice…

PLEASE CLICK HERE to share your story.

I know it’s scary to share it.

Every person who has shared so far has been scared to share. But they did it anyway.

And they did it as ANONYMOUSLY as they wanted.

People will doubt it.

People will question your actions.

Some people will make you feel like the “bad guy.”

BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS PROBLEM KNOWN.

If it keeps getting pushed under the rug, change will not happen. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or anywhere else.

They might ignore your story. But they can’t ignore hundreds or thousands of stories.

For every one person who shares their story, there are MANY more who are silently saying “me too.”

When you share yours, you empower someone else to share theirs and move towards healing.

The more voices that stand up and share their story, the bigger difference we can make.

CLICK HERE to share your story.

And let’s make The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the safest place on earth for survivors of abuse.

Survivor’s actual name used at survivor’s request.

Story shared at this link. Please share your story here as well: https://forms.gle/D9d2gF5R3PZs9fRk6

The Abuse

James (name changed for privacy) was my Sunday School teacher and child of a general authority. He was a temple recommend holder at the time he was abusing me.

I was 15. They’d recently moved into the ward. He would pick me up to babysit for his family. He may have known to target me since my mother was also abusive towards me.

He told me that his wife would rather have our friend Stephanie (name changed for privacy) because she was able to put the girls to bed better than I was, but he kept insisting that his wife choose me.

On the five minute drive from my house to his, he’d pull over in a quiet, pretty deserted neighborhood. Then, he’d rape me.

One time he brought his wife’s vibrator. If he wanted to be exciting or he didn’t want to take a break for so long, he’d have me give him a blow job while he was driving and if he wasn’t ready yet by the time we got to his house, we’d go to the middle school parking lot and finish “really fast.”

He would make sure I climaxed, too, if there was time.

It sucks because for the longest time, I thought he was my friend and that we had a special relationship. So if you’d ask me which men in the ward I liked the most, he was the first one I’d think of because he’d make small talk when I came home from college.

Then I realized that, nope, it wasn’t that he wanted to be my friend. He was being kind to me because he was raping me and wanted to continue to be able to do that.

Telling Church Leadership

I did not report my abuse to legal authorities or Church leadership.

I chose to focus on my own healing instead, and I believed I did not have the physical proof needed to win a legal battle.

The Damage

I’m going on year 11 of therapy. I don’t think there’s an end.

It’s all related to many experiences of abuse.

I have zero trust for others. Zero self esteem. Zero sex life.

100% depression/anxiety, etc.

What We Can Do

This story brings up a common occurrence. Someone in the Church is abused by another person in the Church, but decides not to report it.

And, as you read the other stories here, you can understand why it’s often not reported. Especially if the abuser is a person in “high standing” in the Church.

We want survivors of abuse in the Church to have a very CLEAR and SAFE method to report abuse and to be supported PROFESSIONALLY through this terrible process.

And, to be able to report it to someone UNRELATED to the abuser.

Abused members need a safe number to call to get legal and therapeutic resources. And they need a way to be offered the chance to bring their abusers to legal and Church justice.

Abuse survivors need help, support and an opportunity for justice.

Abusers need to be identified and appropriately disciplined.

To help create this system, please sign this petition: https://www.change.org/stopldsabuse

Please Share Your Story

If you have a story where you were abused, reported it to Church leaders, and did not receive appropriate support or justice…

PLEASE CLICK HERE to share your story.

I know it’s scary to share it.

Every person who has shared so far has been scared to share. But they did it anyway.

And they did it as ANONYMOUSLY as they wanted.

People will doubt it.

People will question your actions.

Some people will make you feel like the “bad guy.”

BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS PROBLEM KNOWN.

If it keeps getting pushed under the rug, change will not happen. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or anywhere else.

They might ignore your story. But they can’t ignore hundreds or thousands of stories.

For every one person who shares their story, there are MANY more who are silently saying “me too.”

When you share yours, you empower someone else to share theirs and move towards healing.

The more voices that stand up and share their story, the bigger difference we can make.

CLICK HERE to share your story.

And let’s make The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the safest place on earth for survivors of abuse.

Names changed for privacy.

Story shared at this link. Please share your story here as well: https://forms.gle/D9d2gF5R3PZs9fRk6

The Abuse

My abuser was my boyfriend, who was a returned missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I was 19 (2012) the first time he abused me sexually. He told me he was so in love with me, and we were definitely going to be married soon, so it didn’t matter if we broke the law of chastity.

I kept trying to close my legs, but he kept forcing them back open, and he was so much stronger than me, so eventually I had to just let it happen. He “finished” all over and me and made me clean it up with a sock. Then told me to be quiet so I didn’t let his parents (who were right upstairs) know.

I told him to stop many times until I realized it was no use and just let him continue until he was satisfied.

He told me we just had to talk to our respective bishops, and everything would be fine.

Telling Church Leadership

When I told my bishop about the abuse, his only response was to refrain from sacrament for a month and read some particular passage of scripture every day in that time.

I was not directed to any therapeutic resources to help me, or to legal resources if I wanted to press charges.

I was not informed that someone forcing me to have sex without my consent was considered rape.

As far as I know, my abuser was not approached by Church leadership about the abuse.

No Church disciplinary hearing was held.

I do not feel like my complaint was taken seriously by the Church, and I do not feel like justice was done or attempted by the Church in my case.

The Damage

It took a long time for me to be comfortable in a sexual setting with my husband.

I sometimes had flashbacks and had to end those activities early.

It made me feel dirty like it was my fault for not resisting enough.

Flashbacks are rare now, but I still have a hard time enjoying sex.

What We Can Do

This kind of thing MUST STOP.

Abuse survivors need to be supported PROFESSIONALLY through this terrible process.

Members of the Church often go first to their Church leaders when in trouble. As good as many of these men are, they often do not know what to do in situations like this.

Abused members need a safe number to call to get legal and therapeutic resources. And they need a way to be offered the chance to bring their abusers to legal and Church justice.

Abuse survivors need help, support and an opportunity for justice.

Abusers need to be identified and appropriately disciplined.

To help create this system, please sign this petition: https://www.change.org/stopldsabuse

Please Share Your Story

If you have a story where you were abused, reported it to Church leaders, and did not receive appropriate support or justice…

PLEASE CLICK HERE to share your story.

I know it’s scary to share it.

Every person who has shared so far has been scared to share. But they did it anyway.

And they did it as ANONYMOUSLY as they wanted.

People will doubt it.

People will question your actions.

Some people will make you feel like the “bad guy.”

BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS PROBLEM KNOWN.

If it keeps getting pushed under the rug, change will not happen. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or anywhere else.

They might ignore your story. But they can’t ignore hundreds or thousands of stories.

For every one person who shares their story, there are MANY more who are silently saying “me too.”

When you share yours, you empower someone else to share theirs and move towards healing.

The more voices that stand up and share their story, the bigger difference we can make.

CLICK HERE to share your story.

And let’s make The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the safest place on earth for survivors of abuse.

Names changed for privacy.

Story shared at this link. Please share your story here as well: https://forms.gle/D9d2gF5R3PZs9fRk6

The Abuse

My earliest memory was from about age 5. This one would’ve been mental\emotional abuse. I told my dad that I wanted to die, and all he said was, “No you don’t. If you really want to die, you should go stand in the middle of [very busy, high-speed intersection close to our house] and wait for a car to hit you.” I started crying, and he simply told me to quit being a baby.

Somewhere in the range of 8-12 years (between 2001-2005). He was saying some horrible things to me, so I decided to leave. He didn’t like my “disrespect,” so he kicked me in the stomach. Hard enough that I lost my breath and doubled over on the floor. As I was trying to catch my breath, he just watched me in silence.

About age 12-14, I had said something to my mom that she blew out of proportion as me being “insolent,” and he took her side and made me go apologize. As I did, it accidentally slipped that “maybe I should just go kill myself.” He grabbed me and the threw me on the floor then picked me up and banged me up against the wall and spanked me like a child–so hard I had to sleep on my stomach for a few nights–and yelled at me that “no one said you should kill yourself,” and how stupid I was for thinking that. I had bruises on my arms from how tight he grabbed me.

This type of abuse happened by my father towards me for as long as I can remember, until I moved out of the house at age 21.

During my time living at home, my father served at one point as a member of the bishopric.

Telling Church Leadership

Eventually I got up the courage to tell my stake president about my father’s abuse of me at home.

My stake president’s response was “Sometimes fathers and daughters just don’t get along.”

I was not directed to any therapeutic resources to help me with either the abuse or my thoughts of suicide.

My father, as far as I know, was not approached by Church leadership about the abuse.

No Church disciplinary hearing was held.

I do not feel like my complaint was taken seriously by the Church, and I do not feel like justice was done or attempted by the Church in my case.

The Damage

I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD from the abuse from my father and have very low self-worth.

I think about suicide most days.

Nightmares are recently decreasing, but still occur at times (I’m 28 now).

I have been in therapy for many years.

What We Can Do

This kind of thing MUST STOP.

Abuse survivors need to be supported PROFESSIONALLY through this terrible process.

Members of the Church often go first to their Church leaders when in trouble. As good as many of these men are, they often do not know what to do in situations like this.

Abused members need a safe number to call to get legal and therapeutic resources. And they need a way to be offered the chance to bring their abusers to legal and Church justice.

Abuse survivors need help, support and an opportunity for justice.

Abusers need to be identified and appropriately disciplined.

To help create this system, please sign this petition: https://www.change.org/stopldsabuse

Please Share Your Story

If you have a story where you were abused, reported it to Church leaders, and did not receive appropriate support or justice…

PLEASE CLICK HERE to share your story.

I know it’s scary to share it.

Every person who has shared so far has been scared to share. But they did it anyway.

And they did it as ANONYMOUSLY as they wanted.

People will doubt it.

People will question your actions.

Some people will make you feel like the “bad guy.”

BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS PROBLEM KNOWN.

If it keeps getting pushed under the rug, change will not happen. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or anywhere else.

They might ignore your story. But they can’t ignore hundreds or thousands of stories.

For every one person who shares their story, there are MANY more who are silently saying “me too.”

When you share yours, you empower someone else to share theirs and move towards healing.

The more voices that stand up and share their story, the bigger difference we can make.

CLICK HERE to share your story.

And let’s make The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the safest place on earth for survivors of abuse.

Story shared at this link. Please share your story here as well: https://forms.gle/D9d2gF5R3PZs9fRk6

The Abuse

I was a 23-year-old BYU student. I had started dating a guy, Tom, but after a few dates things got inappropriate.

He touched me inappropriately, and then started to do it more because I would freeze. I broke things off and even moved to get away from him.

But BYU gave him my new address.

Tom showed up at my door. He told me he just needed to give me back a few things, and to please just open the door to my place. He came in, and he saw that I was alone, and he forced me into the bedroom.

He covered my mouth and held me down and raped me. He made me take a shower with him, as my roommates had come home while he was hurting me. He then snuck out my window.

He then told his roommate what he had done. I was traumatized and scared, and unable to function.

His roommate, Steve, came to my house a few days later, and said Tom had told him what had happened, and he knew I needed someone to talk to.

He said we should just go for a short drive, because he knew I wouldn’t want my roommates to hear what had happened. He took me to their apartment. I started feeling weak. I begged him to take me home. I had low blood sugar and nearly passed out. Steve said I would be fine, gave me some sugar, and locked us in his room.

When he started to undress I begged him to let me go, to please not hurt me. He told me I was already ruined, and he knew, and if I wouldn’t stop fighting him he would go and hurt some other innocent girl, and her rape would be all my fault. I was mad, and hurt, and believed I was worthless.

He made me stay all night with him laying on top of me so I could not get away.

In the morning he pushed me out the window, and then drove me up to the school and dropped me off for my morning class.

Telling Church Leadership

A few days after I was raped by these two BYU students, I went and spoke to my bishop and then my stake president seeking support and some idea of what to do. I was afraid that I might be pregnant or have some sort of sexually transmitted disease. I was traumatized and afraid.

The result was that I was made to feel at fault, and was asked not to partake of the sacrament and or pray or speak in church.

Tom and Steve went to their other roommate’s temple wedding the next week, and continued on as BYU students.

No church discipline was administered to them. I had no opportunity to testify against them in a Church hearing. As far as I know, they were never confronted by the Church about these allegations.

The Damage

The rapes and subsequent shaming have taken their toll on me.

-26 years of fear and self loathing

-Anger and loss of trust in God.

-Lack of trust in church authorities

-An irrational fear of being alone

-An inability to enjoy sex with my husband

-A constant checking and rechecking if all doors and windows are locked

-Constant nightmares for years

-A belief that God didn’t love me, or he would have stopped such events from happening

-A fear of all men, and very little confidence in their motives

-Recurring trauma triggered by hearing or seeing or reading about anything remotely related to similar events

-Constant fear that God will never accept me

-Worry that I was being punished somehow for I don’t know what,

-Ultimately hopelessness that I will ever feel okay, or not afraid.

I have spent many years and many thousands of dollars on therapy, but I still struggle with these thoughts and feelings daily.

What We Can Do

This kind of thing MUST STOP.

Abuse survivors need to be supported PROFESSIONALLY through this terrible process.

Members of the Church often go first to their Church leaders when in trouble. As good as many of these men are, they often do not know what to do in situations like this.

Abused members need a safe number to call to get legal and therapeutic resources. And they need a way to be offered the chance to bring their abusers to legal and Church justice.

Abuse survivors need help, support and an opportunity for justice.

Abusers need to be identified and appropriately disciplined.

To help create this system, please sign this petition: https://www.change.org/stopldsabuse

Please Share Your Story

If you have a story where you were abused, reported it to Church leaders, and did not receive appropriate support or justice…

PLEASE CLICK HERE to share your story.

I know it’s scary to share it.

Every person who has shared so far has been scared to share. But they did it anyway.

And they did it as ANONYMOUSLY as they wanted.

People will doubt it.

People will question your actions.

Some people will make you feel like the “bad guy.”

BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS PROBLEM KNOWN.

If it keeps getting pushed under the rug, change will not happen. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or anywhere else.

They might ignore your story. But they can’t ignore hundreds or thousands of stories.

For every one person who shares their story, there are MANY more who are silently saying “me too.”

When you share yours, you empower someone else to share theirs and move towards healing.

The more voices that stand up and share their story, the bigger difference we can make.

CLICK HERE to share your story.

And let’s make The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the safest place on earth for survivors of abuse.