Jessica’s Story – Abused By Father, Told By Stake President “Sometimes Fathers And Daughters Just Don’t Get Along”

Names changed for privacy.

Story shared at this link. Please share your story here as well:

The Abuse

My earliest memory was from about age 5. This one would’ve been mental\emotional abuse. I told my dad that I wanted to die, and all he said was, “No you don’t. If you really want to die, you should go stand in the middle of [very busy, high-speed intersection close to our house] and wait for a car to hit you.” I started crying, and he simply told me to quit being a baby.

Somewhere in the range of 8-12 years (between 2001-2005). He was saying some horrible things to me, so I decided to leave. He didn’t like my “disrespect,” so he kicked me in the stomach. Hard enough that I lost my breath and doubled over on the floor. As I was trying to catch my breath, he just watched me in silence.

About age 12-14, I had said something to my mom that she blew out of proportion as me being “insolent,” and he took her side and made me go apologize. As I did, it accidentally slipped that “maybe I should just go kill myself.” He grabbed me and the threw me on the floor then picked me up and banged me up against the wall and spanked me like a child–so hard I had to sleep on my stomach for a few nights–and yelled at me that “no one said you should kill yourself,” and how stupid I was for thinking that. I had bruises on my arms from how tight he grabbed me.

This type of abuse happened by my father towards me for as long as I can remember, until I moved out of the house at age 21.

During my time living at home, my father served at one point as a member of the bishopric.

Telling Church Leadership

Eventually I got up the courage to tell my stake president about my father’s abuse of me at home.

My stake president’s response was “Sometimes fathers and daughters just don’t get along.”

I was not directed to any therapeutic resources to help me with either the abuse or my thoughts of suicide.

My father, as far as I know, was not approached by Church leadership about the abuse.

No Church disciplinary hearing was held.

I do not feel like my complaint was taken seriously by the Church, and I do not feel like justice was done or attempted by the Church in my case.

The Damage

I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD from the abuse from my father and have very low self-worth.

I think about suicide most days.

Nightmares are recently decreasing, but still occur at times (I’m 28 now).

I have been in therapy for many years.

What We Can Do

This kind of thing MUST STOP.

Abuse survivors need to be supported PROFESSIONALLY through this terrible process.

Members of the Church often go first to their Church leaders when in trouble. As good as many of these men are, they often do not know what to do in situations like this.

Abused members need a safe number to call to get legal and therapeutic resources. And they need a way to be offered the chance to bring their abusers to legal and Church justice.

Abuse survivors need help, support and an opportunity for justice.

Abusers need to be identified and appropriately disciplined.

To help create this system, please sign this petition:

Please Share Your Story

If you have a story where you were abused, reported it to Church leaders, and did not receive appropriate support or justice…

PLEASE CLICK HERE to share your story.

I know it’s scary to share it.

Every person who has shared so far has been scared to share. But they did it anyway.

And they did it as ANONYMOUSLY as they wanted.

People will doubt it.

People will question your actions.

Some people will make you feel like the “bad guy.”


If it keeps getting pushed under the rug, change will not happen. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or anywhere else.

They might ignore your story. But they can’t ignore hundreds or thousands of stories.

For every one person who shares their story, there are MANY more who are silently saying “me too.”

When you share yours, you empower someone else to share theirs and move towards healing.

The more voices that stand up and share their story, the bigger difference we can make.

CLICK HERE to share your story.

And let’s make The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the safest place on earth for survivors of abuse.

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