Names changed for privacy.
Story shared at this link. Please share your story here as well: https://forms.gle/D9d2gF5R3PZs9fRk6
The Abuse
My abuser was my boyfriend, who was a returned missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I was 19 (2012) the first time he abused me sexually. He told me he was so in love with me, and we were definitely going to be married soon, so it didn’t matter if we broke the law of chastity.
I kept trying to close my legs, but he kept forcing them back open, and he was so much stronger than me, so eventually I had to just let it happen. He “finished” all over and me and made me clean it up with a sock. Then told me to be quiet so I didn’t let his parents (who were right upstairs) know.
I told him to stop many times until I realized it was no use and just let him continue until he was satisfied.
He told me we just had to talk to our respective bishops, and everything would be fine.
Telling Church Leadership
When I told my bishop about the abuse, his only response was to refrain from sacrament for a month and read some particular passage of scripture every day in that time.
I was not directed to any therapeutic resources to help me, or to legal resources if I wanted to press charges.
I was not informed that someone forcing me to have sex without my consent was considered rape.
As far as I know, my abuser was not approached by Church leadership about the abuse.
No Church disciplinary hearing was held.
I do not feel like my complaint was taken seriously by the Church, and I do not feel like justice was done or attempted by the Church in my case.
The Damage
It took a long time for me to be comfortable in a sexual setting with my husband.
I sometimes had flashbacks and had to end those activities early.
It made me feel dirty like it was my fault for not resisting enough.
Flashbacks are rare now, but I still have a hard time enjoying sex.
What We Can Do
This kind of thing MUST STOP.
Abuse survivors need to be supported PROFESSIONALLY through this terrible process.
Members of the Church often go first to their Church leaders when in trouble. As good as many of these men are, they often do not know what to do in situations like this.
Abused members need a safe number to call to get legal and therapeutic resources. And they need a way to be offered the chance to bring their abusers to legal and Church justice.
Abuse survivors need help, support and an opportunity for justice.
Abusers need to be identified and appropriately disciplined.
To help create this system, please sign this petition: https://www.change.org/stopldsabuse
Please Share Your Story
If you have a story where you were abused, reported it to Church leaders, and did not receive appropriate support or justice…
PLEASE CLICK HERE to share your story.
I know it’s scary to share it.
Every person who has shared so far has been scared to share. But they did it anyway.
And they did it as ANONYMOUSLY as they wanted.
People will doubt it.
People will question your actions.
Some people will make you feel like the “bad guy.”
BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS PROBLEM KNOWN.
If it keeps getting pushed under the rug, change will not happen. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or anywhere else.
They might ignore your story. But they can’t ignore hundreds or thousands of stories.
For every one person who shares their story, there are MANY more who are silently saying “me too.”
When you share yours, you empower someone else to share theirs and move towards healing.
The more voices that stand up and share their story, the bigger difference we can make.
CLICK HERE to share your story.
And let’s make The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the safest place on earth for survivors of abuse.