Survivor’s actual name used at survivor’s request.
Story shared at this link. Please share your story here as well: https://forms.gle/D9d2gF5R3PZs9fRk6
The Abuse
James (name changed for privacy) was my Sunday School teacher and child of a general authority. He was a temple recommend holder at the time he was abusing me.
I was 15. They’d recently moved into the ward. He would pick me up to babysit for his family. He may have known to target me since my mother was also abusive towards me.
He told me that his wife would rather have our friend Stephanie (name changed for privacy) because she was able to put the girls to bed better than I was, but he kept insisting that his wife choose me.
On the five minute drive from my house to his, he’d pull over in a quiet, pretty deserted neighborhood. Then, he’d rape me.
One time he brought his wife’s vibrator. If he wanted to be exciting or he didn’t want to take a break for so long, he’d have me give him a blow job while he was driving and if he wasn’t ready yet by the time we got to his house, we’d go to the middle school parking lot and finish “really fast.”
He would make sure I climaxed, too, if there was time.
It sucks because for the longest time, I thought he was my friend and that we had a special relationship. So if you’d ask me which men in the ward I liked the most, he was the first one I’d think of because he’d make small talk when I came home from college.
Then I realized that, nope, it wasn’t that he wanted to be my friend. He was being kind to me because he was raping me and wanted to continue to be able to do that.
Telling Church Leadership
I did not report my abuse to legal authorities or Church leadership.
I chose to focus on my own healing instead, and I believed I did not have the physical proof needed to win a legal battle.
The Damage
I’m going on year 11 of therapy. I don’t think there’s an end.
It’s all related to many experiences of abuse.
I have zero trust for others. Zero self esteem. Zero sex life.
100% depression/anxiety, etc.
What We Can Do
This story brings up a common occurrence. Someone in the Church is abused by another person in the Church, but decides not to report it.
And, as you read the other stories here, you can understand why it’s often not reported. Especially if the abuser is a person in “high standing” in the Church.
We want survivors of abuse in the Church to have a very CLEAR and SAFE method to report abuse and to be supported PROFESSIONALLY through this terrible process.
And, to be able to report it to someone UNRELATED to the abuser.
Abused members need a safe number to call to get legal and therapeutic resources. And they need a way to be offered the chance to bring their abusers to legal and Church justice.
Abuse survivors need help, support and an opportunity for justice.
Abusers need to be identified and appropriately disciplined.
To help create this system, please sign this petition: https://www.change.org/stopldsabuse
Please Share Your Story
If you have a story where you were abused, reported it to Church leaders, and did not receive appropriate support or justice…
PLEASE CLICK HERE to share your story.
I know it’s scary to share it.
Every person who has shared so far has been scared to share. But they did it anyway.
And they did it as ANONYMOUSLY as they wanted.
People will doubt it.
People will question your actions.
Some people will make you feel like the “bad guy.”
BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS PROBLEM KNOWN.
If it keeps getting pushed under the rug, change will not happen. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or anywhere else.
They might ignore your story. But they can’t ignore hundreds or thousands of stories.
For every one person who shares their story, there are MANY more who are silently saying “me too.”
When you share yours, you empower someone else to share theirs and move towards healing.
The more voices that stand up and share their story, the bigger difference we can make.
CLICK HERE to share your story.
And let’s make The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the safest place on earth for survivors of abuse.